We're all doomed

Signs that as the year comes to an end, so too might the world:

• Tropical Storm Zeta formed today in the Atlantic Ocean, becoming the 27th named storm of the hurricane season that officially ended a month ago.
• A new study has found a 30% reduction in the warm currents that carry water north in the Atlantic and help drive ocean currents worldwide. This validates computer-modeled consequences of global warming which could actually lower temperatures in Europe.
• 10 inches of snow fell yesterday in Florence Italy with temperatures of -15 degrees Fahrenheit in France.
• Someone stole the cinnamon roll that looked like Mother Theresa, known as the Nun Bun.
• No one knows where the lava is coming from that has been erupting from Mt. St. Helens for over a year now.
  
• An aquatic park dolphin and a Londoner got married.
• The National Security Agency's Internet site has been placing files on visitors' computers that can track their Web surfing activity despite strict federal rules banning most of them.
• Dick Clark is hosting yet another New Year's countdown.
• China's 3rd reported human fatality from the H5N1 avian flu pushes the known world total to 74 deaths in 141 cases. And how she contracted it is a complete mystery because she had no contact with birds.
  
• A movie about gay cowpokes is playing well in Milwaukee and Kansas City.
• We're currently under a High Wind Warning, a High Surf Advisory, a Coastal Flood Warning, and a Flash Flood Watch. Last week we even had a Severe Thunderstorm Warning due to a rotating cloud consistent with possible tornadic activity.
• George Bush's approval ratings are improving.
  
• Hippos and tortoises living together.