I believe you have my stapler

Ok, now that all my afternoon meetings have been postponed, I find myself with a few moments to spare. Don't worry, anyone with whom I work who might be reading this, I'm on break: I didn't take lunch because it was interrupted by the fire alarm and I was tangled in my orange vest trying to hold the stairwell door open and direct everyone to safety.

Anyway, an office-related topic today: the issue of the person who sits kitty-corner through the cubicle wall. He's a very nice, overly helpful IS guy capable of solving a Rubik's Cube in under 2 minutes, and I don't want to make fun of or put him down... but wholly craparoonie, he's been bugging the bejebus out of me lately. For one, he snores. Loudly. How do I know this? Because he does it in his cube. During the day. At work.

I seriously think he may be narcoleptic. I know I'm not the only one to have noticed (it's not subtle) so perhaps it's a known medical condition which explains why he hasn't been fired. Also, twice now he has dozed off right in the middle of installing or upgrading software on my computer. Right there, with me leaning on my desk right beside him. Asleep. It started out as sort of amusing, but at this point I'm just more annoyed with every snore.

Also? At the moment he's sick or has allergies or something, because when he's awake I can hear him snorting the snot -- not just sniffles, but full-on back-of-the-throat snot-rattling snorts -- every few minutes. I've had to start wearing headphones to keep from getting too grossed out. And like a true obsessive-compulsive I also wiped down my keyboard and mouse with disinfectant once he had finished upgrading my MS Office. *shudder*